It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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