i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
