Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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