I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
