I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
