Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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