yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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