singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
