And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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