Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize