wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
