is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
