dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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