idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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