Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
