i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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