Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
