Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
