Pants 0. Shit 1.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
