Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
