don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
