you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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