38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
