How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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