Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
