I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
