When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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