Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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