Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who died my cat blue again?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
