I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
