"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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