I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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