I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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