I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
