I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
