my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
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I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"