i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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