Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.

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(815): This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing. http://tfl.nu/2ksa

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.

(706): View more from Georgia

Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...

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(706): Just donated money to a kid for her softball team. (706): Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years... http://tfl.nu/z5u3

Replies (34) Good night (4150) Bad night (798)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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(812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h

Replies (93) Good night (4727) Bad night (1178)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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(908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b

Replies (33) Good night (4121) Bad night (5207)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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(609): imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift. http://tfl.nu/z6oe

Replies (31) Good night (1475) Bad night (3942)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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(401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set

Replies (4) Good night (2567) Bad night (1488)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

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(770): Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit http://tfl.nu/tode

Replies (12) Good night (4289) Bad night (1017)
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(707): View more from California

Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.

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(707): Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive. http://tfl.nu/ly82

Replies (6) Good night (3220) Bad night (1071)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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(218): We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/2b3c

Replies (7) Good night (2009) Bad night (739)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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(504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k

Replies (14) Good night (2195) Bad night (747)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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(724): Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS http://tfl.nu/ftff

Replies (17) Good night (2480) Bad night (669)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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(774): We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot. http://tfl.nu/pm9n

Replies (7) Good night (1866) Bad night (631)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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(651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb

Replies (7) Good night (1594) Bad night (371)
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(315): View more from New York

Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.

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(315): Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount. http://tfl.nu/8uiz

Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (561)
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(650): View more from California

future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.

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(650): future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture. http://tfl.nu/2m26

Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (208)

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