Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup

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(303): View more from Colorado

I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

(720): View more from Colorado

Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

(303): View more from Colorado

But what if I pay for the gas?

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(661): View more from California

this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(419): View more from Ohio

then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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(937): View more from Ohio

That's science, my friend. Boner science.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.

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(206): View more from Washington

2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick

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