Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

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(859): i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me" http://tfl.nu/l7cf

Replies (130) Good night (8604) Bad night (3156)
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(770): View more from Georgia

So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...

(404): View more from Georgia

Dont! You were just serving you country

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(770): So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now... (404): Dont! You were just serving you country http://tfl.nu/lcsl

Replies (71) Good night (6847) Bad night (2431)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances

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(250): My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances http://tfl.nu/ihp8

Replies (15) Good night (1194) Bad night (4881)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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(913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z

Replies (9) Good night (1308) Bad night (4374)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

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(717): I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both. http://tfl.nu/vzdh

Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (2082)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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(505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a

Replies (6) Good night (2627) Bad night (659)
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(907): View more from Alaska

If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.

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(907): If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever. http://tfl.nu/sogf

Replies (29) Good night (1251) Bad night (3909)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.

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(313): Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins. http://tfl.nu/hjt3

Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (1595)
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(707): View more from California

Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...

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(707): Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost... http://tfl.nu/dlrx

Replies (1) Good night (1050) Bad night (992)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time

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(203): Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time http://tfl.nu/nn7c

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (1035)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".

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(540): Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!". http://tfl.nu/uep9

Replies (7) Good night (847) Bad night (514)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Get you some cowboy.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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(832): Get you some cowboy. (832): In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself. http://tfl.nu/cgrb

Replies (6) Good night (1008) Bad night (400)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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(612): I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/y0ry

Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (304)
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(315): View more from New York

Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack

(1-315): View more from New York

This is why I love you...

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(315): Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack (1-315): This is why I love you... http://tfl.nu/jq03

Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (220)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.

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(902): I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants. http://tfl.nu/7sqj

Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (202)

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