so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
