Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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