were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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