Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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