my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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