Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
