She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
