I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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