Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize