Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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