After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
