I love black thongs
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
