Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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