she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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