I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
