Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
