I feel great
I just peed on a car
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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