Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
