All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
