Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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