Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
