Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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