I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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