your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
