Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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